Parenting is easy when your children are still toddlers. When they grow up and start questioning things, the role of a parent takes a whole new dimension. The first figures of authority in children’s lives are his/ her parents. They grow up doing what their parents tell them to do and develop a sense of right or wrong from their parents. Character attributes change when children have other people influencing them like teachers and friends. There are three distinctive styles of parenting, the authoritative style, authoritarian and permissive parenting style. This is how these styles differ:
Authoritative parents
Authoritative parents are not only controlling but they are demanding. In the same vein they offer warmth and are receptive to the needs of their children. Instead of saying “my way or the high way”’ authoritative parents explain why something is wrong or right and why there should be consequences for bad behavior. They usually establish rules early on and their children grow up knowing the things that are acceptable to their parents and those things that aren’t. Authoritative parents encourage children to have opinions and to voice them. They do not shoot everything down as bad.
Children who have been raised by authoritative parents tend to be self-reliant, they have self-control and they grow up with the ability to set rules for themselves and create boundaries.
Authoritarian parents
These are parents who can also be described as tyrants. They are extremely controlling but tend to be detached and force their children to do things their way. There is no way but their way of doing things. They lay down the laws and create rules without giving much explanation about why and how these do’s and don’ts are supposed to build them into better people. Children are not encouraged to question or allowed to complain.
Permissive parents
These are non-demanding, non-controlling parents. They are warm and receptive and give their children room to explore their boundaries. They might establish rules but they may not necessarily enforce them. Their permissiveness should not be misconstrued as carelessness.
These three parenting styles in teens’ years produce three distinctive types of adolescents.
- Teens brought up by an Authoritative parent are more likely to be self-reliant, have more self-control and have the ability to adapt to very constrictive environments.
- Children raised by authoritarian parents usually grow up to be repressed, withdrawn, and distrustful, and they are most likely to seek environments that have very constrictive laws. They take discipline to another level and may struggle to express themselves.
- Children brought up by permissive parents tend to be less self-reliant; they might even exhibit traits of being spoilt. They are explorative and have a sense of self-control. They grow up to be more confident than children raised by either authoritative or authoritarian parents.
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How do these parenting styles affect children in their teens? To explain, let’s take the example of a teen asking for permission to go to a friend’s party.
- In this case an authoritative parent may want to know what kind of person your friend is and if there will be any grownups at the party. They will insist on getting you to that party if they agree to you going to a party. Children tend to be overly demanding. These parents may list a number of things that kids should not be doing and will express the kind of wrath that will come upon the child if he or she does not comply. The child might actually be so apprehensive he might not even go.
- An authoritarian parent may not want you to go at all. They will not offer an explanation except an unreserved response of NO!
- A Permissive parent will most probably say something like go ahead, have a lovely time but as long as you are going to someone’s house, you should leave the number of the parent just in case.
Clearly, authoritative parenting seems like a more balanced style of parenting. It seems to balance clear and high demand. It requires a higher level of emotional responsiveness and the child’s need for autonomy. Socially, they are better at recognizing authority figures; socially acceptable behavior and they are most likely to avoid problem behavior.
Teens raised by authoritarian parents have poor social skills, they are unsure of themselves and have a low self-esteem and they also struggle to reach their full potential because they are so unsure of their own judgments.
Teens raised by permissive parents might have problems with authority and makes them likely to fall into crime, substance abuse and other things that develop as a result of growing up without rules or consequences or boundaries.
By Paul A. Beard
Paul Beard
http://www.familylifepage.com