We have to agree that it can be tiresome and difficult to raise a kid who is not in touch with the natural feelings of human beings. This may involve being stubborn, cunning, insensitive, angry and grumpy. As parents, it is crucial to accept that raising a child goes beyond feeding, clothing and caring. It also involves raising the kid to be a useful member of the society; thus it is an enduring task to raise a difficult child. However, the task of raising a difficult child that should be taken seriously, especially in young kids so that they do not grow to become antisocial adults.
There are many factors that do lead to a child becoming difficult, thereby developing a tendency of throwing tantrums and having aggressive behaviors while not following instructions. Even though most of these behaviors are blamed on poor parenting, researchers suggest otherwise. Researchers suggest that it is wrong to assume that a difficult child is as a result of poor parenting. Factors such as chronic ear infections and other body pains may be among the main factors that may lead to a child developing difficult behaviors.
Realizing and accepting that dealing with a difficult child is not easy is the first step towards achieving the positive results. Being calm with a child with difficult behaviors is the first step towards dealing with unruly behavior. Without denying it, when such kids throw tantrums and act violently, our brains become loaded with emotions and we become reactive by yelling, screaming and shutting them down. In real sense, none of these would help in dealing with such kids. Instead, they only act to worsen the situation.
Even though parenting can be an emotional experience, changing our perspective and being less angry can be helpful in dealing with difficult kids. It is crucial to realize that kids do act their age and may not be aware that their behaviors are negative. Be patient and tolerant with the kid and take it as a responsibility to guide him/her in making amends. This can be effectively done by guiding the child on what to do, rather than restricting him on what not to do.
Again, the identification of our underlying feelings towards our kids' behaviors such as fear and shame towards their behaviors may be helpful in dealing with them. In this regard, ensuring that you fully understand the consequences of the child's behavior and that he/she is acting his/her age is helpful. Acting quickly to the consequences of their unwanted behaviors is also vital just as staying calm, but firm in correcting them.
With all these in mind, it should be noted that being pleasant and praising a difficult child when they behave well is a crucial factor in ensuring that they develop positive behaviors.
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Paul Beard
http://www.familylifepage.com