728_x_90 Parenting difficult teenagers usually boils down to one word, entitlement. Entitled teens think their parents owe them simply for gracing the world with their presence.  These are the kids who give hard working parents the silent treatment or worse have a hissy fit if they don’t get a $300 dollar pair of jeans. A combination of indulgent parents, the consumer culture and emotional pampering hampers teens ability to develop into adulthood. Self-absorbed, entitled teens are difficult to parent. However, just as they were spoiled children can be raises as gracious and independent teens by following a few guidelines.

Has social media taken over?
Has social media taken over?

Limit Media- Social Networking Such as Facebook

Limit Media- Social networking such as Facebook, YouTube and my space encourages self-absorption and time away from the family. Hours are spent reading messages and posting the details of their lives.  The average teen spend seven and a half hours a day looking at media Children spend hours posting photos and descriptions of their daily activities. The self-centered focus is further encouraged by television programs, commercials, print ads and movies that sexualize children, promote indiscriminate spending and value fame without talent. It has been shown, teens who spend more time with their parents are more likely to have high self-esteem.   Have designated hours when teens are allowed to watch television. Use the time ay from media to do activities with the family everyone can enjoy. Family activities takes away the me, me, me’s and allows teens to relate to other members of the family.

Set Expectations and Consequences

Set Expectations and Consequences- Expectations have positive and negative consequences. Indulged teens don’t understand how personal effort is directly connected to the outcome. Set realistic expectations and stick to a system of reward and punishment. For example, if they want gas for the car make sure they complete their chores. Then they will be better prepared for how the real world works.
Part-time Job – Spoiled children think anything they want somehow magically appears. A part-time or summer job gives teens a sense of accomplishment and earned independence. Earning their own money helps teenagers learn the value of a dollar and appreciate their material items.  They will begin to learn firsthand that anything worthwhile takes effort.  Being part of the workforce will also help them acquire life skills like punctuality, organization and working as a team they can use as an adult.

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Have Them Volunteer

Have them Volunteer – Let children broaden their view of the world from what only personally affects them. By volunteering they can take the focus off of themselves and help others. It will also give them an appreciation for what is provided by knowing there is always someone who has less. No matter what their age or abilities there is an organization where they can help out after school or on the weekends. The experience will help them develop compassion and a broader understanding of the meaning of life.

Be Authoritative

Be authoritative- Due to wanting to be their child’s friend or feelings of guilt for not spending time with their kid’s, parents adopt permissive parenting styles. Studies show this lenient approach creates entitled character traits in teens. An authoritative parenting style creates clear boundaries your teen must honor. You are doing your child a disservice if they are not taught life’s social hierarchy. They must learn before adulthood that bullying or whining will not likely win them the big promotion.

Parenting difficult teenagers is a challenge if they have been indulged since childhood. For extra help, there are a number of very effective books on the market to help you parent your child through the tough teen years.

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Paul Beard
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Paul Beard

Executive Director at LIGHTHOUSE 2911
Paul A. Beard has designed programs and written several information guides and books about parents and families.
http://www.familylifepage.com
Paul Beard
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Entitlement: Parenting Difficult Teenagers
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